Fernanda – Portfolio 1
June 16, 2009A five-year-old dark-haired girl, her big black eyes showing a lot of life, her long curly black hair with pigtails dancing in the air, her full mouth showing a friendly smile. She had a turned-up nose, which sometimes show her frolic attitude. She had a thin body. In spite of it all, she was full of energy,always oozing happiness, getting everyone’s attention.
A five-year-old dark-haired girl (excellent description of the subject of the sentence, but where is the predicate? What was she doing?), her big black eyes showing a lot of life, her long curly pigtails dancing in the air, her full mouth showing a friendly smile. She had a turned-up nose, which sometimes show her frolic attitude. She had a thin body. In spite of it all, she was full of energy, always oozing happiness, getting everyone’s attention.
Content: 4 / 5
Structure: 5 / 5
Vocabulary: 5 / 5
Grammar: 5 / 5
Mechanics: 5 / 5
Total: 24 / 25