Paula Portfolio 1
June 8, 2009Inexperient or naive people generally creates lots of expectation about something they’ve been waiting for. I’ve experienced this kind of feeling when I received the news of my acceptance in the trainee program of a big investment bank. On May 30 of 2007 when my cell phone rang I jumped. When I ring it off I was feeling a mix of joy and happiness. I was accepted. It was like a dream coming true. My thoughts were pointing to a direction that I was gonna work there forever, with a completely transformation in my lifestyle. For me, this job, at that time, meant that I was gonna be a “business woman”. I was kind of enjoying this idea.
During my first day in the bank, I had an odd sensation. I felt that I didn’t belong to a “bank’s environment”, with lots of competition among the employees, quick decisions to be made, with, sometimes, little racional involvement. When I left the bank that day, I was confused, but positive. Things would get better.
That strange feeling accompanied me for one year and nine months. I definitely wasn’t part of that “world”, where agility, rapidity and, often, aggressive behavior are fundamental keys to success. I made a tough, but the right decision, so I left the bank in March of this year.
It was shocking for my parents, because, for them, the bank was ideal for me. The salary was great, and it was an unique opportunity given to me. But they didn’t have any idea of what I was going through, dwelling on this job day after day, dealing with unpleasant people.
I do not regret working there. I’ve learnt a lot. My knowledge has increased much in technical areas, as well as my emotional intelligence.
The lessons I acquired from that experience are precious. People will always have a penchant for telling what they think is the best. I couldn’t fit the type of profile the bank requires. I insisted, but, finally, I’ve realized I’m supposed to follow my values and principles. I believe a job has to bring happiness and satisfaction, not only money or a status.
Inexperient or naive people generally create lots of expectation about something they’ve been waiting for. I’ve experienced this kind of feeling when I received the news of my acceptance in the trainee program of a big investment bank. On May 30 of 2007 when my cell phone rang(,) I jumped. When I (hung up,) I was feeling a mix of joy and happiness. I (had been) accepted. It was like a dream com(e) true. My thoughts were pointing to a direction that I was gonna (too informal – going to) work there forever, with a complete transformation in my lifestyle. For me, this job, at that time, meant that I was gonna (:-P) be a “business woman”. I was kind of enjoying this idea.
During my first day in the bank, I had an odd sensation. I felt that I didn’t belong to the banking environment, with lots of competition among the employees, quick decisions to be made, with, sometimes, little ra(t)ional involvement. When I left the bank that day, I was confused, but positive. Things would get better.
That strange feeling accompanied me for one year and nine months. I definitely wasn’t part of that world, where agility, (speed) and, often, aggressive behavior are fundamental keys to success. I made a tough, but the right decision: I left the bank in March of this year.
It was shocking for my parents, because, for them, the bank was ideal for me. The salary was great, and it was an unique opportunity given to me. But they didn’t have any idea of what I was going through, dwelling on this job day after day, dealing with unpleasant people.
(Don’t get me wrong.) I do not regret (having worked) there. I’ve learned a lot. My knowledge has increased much in technical areas, as well as my emotional intelligence.
The lessons I acquired from that experience are precious. People will always have a penchant for telling (others)what they think is best. I couldn’t fit the type of profile the bank requires. I insisted, but, finally, I’ve realized I’m supposed to follow my values and principles. I believe a job has to bring happiness and satisfaction, not only money or a status.
Content: 5 / 5
But you could have offered a veeeeeeeery specific example of something that happened at the bank that SHOWS this kind of competitive behavior you so much did not adapt to.)
Structure: 5 / 5
Vocabulary: 5 / 5
You could have used more sophisticated language, but the level of the language you have used is sophisticated enough.
Grammar: 5 / 5
Not many mistakes made.
Mechanics: 4 / 5
Be a bit more careful with spelling and puctuation
Total: 24 / 25
Rick