Riad # 5 — Description of a Person
May 21, 2009One day a strange man came to my office , he looks like very old ,his face showed me that he was very sad and worried,he was well-dressed but his gray hair was completely untide,his dark eyes were with tears and his rough-looking face denoted that he was suffering a huge pain;he was wearing a dark suit that was loose on his skinny body that was curling up while he began to talk ,when he sat I noticed that he was older than I had suposed at the first momment but his shoes were very expensive,thereafter he moved his thin lips I realized what the problem was.
One day a strange man came to my office(.) (H)e look(ed) very old, his face show(ing) me that he was very sad and worried (Riad, you need to try to SHOW your ideas instead of TELLING them to your readers.) (H)e was well-dressed (how? in a grey suit?), but his gray hair was completely untidy, his dark eyes (full) with tears and his rough-looking face denot(ing) he was suffering a (great) pain (from what? what happened to him?)
(H)e was wearing a dark suit that was loose on his skinny body(, which) curl(ed) up while he began to talk (Maybe this further description of his clothing belongs next to the paragraph where you TELL your readers that he was “well-dressed.”) When he sat I noticed that he was older than I had (guessed) at the first moment, but his shoes were very expensive (Which brand were they? Ha ha ha. It is funny that you noticed his shoes
very unusual.) (When) he moved his thin lips, I realized what the problem was. (What was the problem?)
Riad,
This is by far your best paper in this class
Your language is quite rich and your text captures the reader’s attention. Also, you have even inserted some humor in it, which is always very welcome 
The two areas you need to work on, Riad, are (1) punctuation and Gerunds X Infinitives. You need to review the usages of COMMAS and PERIODS. You have been mixing them quite a lot. Also, you need to review words forms as far as ING and ED are concerned.
Rick