Paula #3 – Nature versus Nurture
May 12, 2009I believe that nurture has a great and major role in a child education. Children that lives and grow in a healthy environment, with parents that spend time with them, doing such things as reading to them and explaining their’s son and daugher’s their homework have a real improve in their learning skills. Also schools that prepare well their students, stimulating them to read lots of books, to study hard for tests have an important weighty.
For example, a child that was born in a slum, in a miserable family. If this child receives a good education, going to an excelent school, with good teachers, with acess to books, information and a salutary place to study, the chances for this kid to succeed are higher than if the kid would have continue to live in the slum with no or really bad conditions at all.
In the future, probably parents will be able to choose genes they would like to modify in their kids. For instance, if the parents don’t have mathematical skills, and nowadays it’s something important to have, they will be able to ask the doctors to put the gene of math abilities in the fetus. It’s very odd and dangerous. If this kind of experiments begins, society will be a herd of modified people, that will not worry anymore with standards of education.
Nurture (plays a) major role in child education. Children (who live) and grow in a healthy environment (where) parents spend time reading and explaining their homework (to them) (show) a real (improvement) in their learning skills (Here you would have to provide an example of one of these parents and child to support your point of view.)
Also, (Paula, if you add the idea of school, then you are discussing another topic, which belongs in a different, second paragraph) schools that prepare their students well (what do you mean by well?), stimulating them to read lots of books, to study hard for tests (also) have an important (role).
For example, a child that was born in a slum, in a miserable family (Where is your verb?). If this child receives a good (avoid words like good, bad, because they are empty and carry no real meaning)education, (goes) to an excellent school with good teachers and (access) to books, information and a salutary (What is salutary?) place to study, the chances for this kid to succeed are higher than if the kid would have (continued living) in the slum with no or really bad (try using more sophisticated language) conditions at all. (How do you know? Here you would have to offer research to be able to sustain your ideas.) (Where is your concluding sentence?)
In the future, parents will probably be able to choose genes they would like to modify in their kids (How is this information connected to your ideas? Is this the continuation of your first topic?). For instance, if the parents don’t have mathematical skills, (which) nowadays (is ab) important (ability) to have, they will be able to ask doctors to put the “math gene” in the fetus. (However, such practice is) very odd and dangerous (Why?) If this kind of experiments (starts to take place), society will be a herd of modified people, that will not worry about standards of education anymore.
Paula,
I am not really sure of what you wanted to do with this second paragraph on gene modification. It is about a very interesting topic, but I do not really see how it relates to your first paragraph. Were you simply trying to write another paper on NATURE X NURTURE right after your first attempt?
Rick