Fabiola – Portfolio #3

 The role of cosmetic surgery in the world we live in today is to fix or bring normalcy to something that is irregular in a person’s body by helping enhance his or her self-confidence, self-love, and also well-being.

(Fabiola, it sounds to me that your first and second topics are the same. Self-esteem and self-confidence are the same, aren’t they?)

Rewriting…  

The role of cosmetic surgery in the world we live in today is to bring normalcy to something that is irregular in a person’s body by helping him or her become more outgoing, more personable, and more confident.

First, whether a person chooses to undergo plastic surgery to improve their lifestyle or to improve their looks, there will always be emotional benefits when a person is finally able to feel comfortable with their body. Many people find that they are more outgoing once they get used to their surgery transformation and this lofty sense of self-esteem can be a benefit that lasts a lifetime. For example, a friend of mine called Luciana Gonzales had lived her life scared to take on activities like swimming or aerobics because of the lack of clothing involved and the way she felt that she would be looked at by other people due to her huge breast size. The result of her breast reduction surgery was felt by everybody around her because she started participating in physical activities that she had never considered before the surgery and her beauty and grace became more noticeable. Furthermore, when a person decides to undergo plastic surgery to improve their lifestyle or to improve their look, there will always be an emotional benefit just because a person will start feeling comfortable with their body.  

Second, the benefits of cosmetic surgery are fantastic because it can make a person not only look and feel younger and prettier, but it can make them more personable to the viewers. Older or aging people have found an outlet in cosmetic surgery that psychologically makes them feel younger and more vibrant as they start to look better. Many cosmetic surgery patients discover that they are more alive than they ever would have imagined. For instance, my mother was feeling in the dumps about the aging effects on her face such as the wrinkles around her eyes, and because of that, she thought she would never be able to find another boyfriend. Thus, she decided to undergo a face lift surgery to revitalize her appearance and it really worked out because only three months after the surgery, she found out a boyfriend fifteen years younger than she was. The face lift restored her beauty by reducing the most visible signs of her aging. Moreover, the benefits of cosmetic surgery are truly fantastic because it can make a person look and feel younger and it can make them more personable by boosting their self-esteem.

Finally, individuals who undergo cosmetic surgery find themselves emotionally more confident. Patients are no longer self conscious of their physical imperfections. People who undergo plastic surgery have more confidence and mental focus after correcting a flaw and can focus on living their lives instead of worrying about the way others are looking at them. And that was what happened to Mauro Ferreira. He was born with a facial deformity which made him avoid any kind of social life. He even avoided school experience due to the teasing which might come from the other students before undergoing plastic surgery. When he was eighteen, he underwent surgery, and as soon as he recovered, he started living as an ordinary person, because for the first in his life, he was able to leave home without the deep-seated and persistent dissatisfaction with the way people looked to him. As a result, he started going to school, and few years later, he got a job because, at that time of his life, he recovered his self-confidence and found professional abilities that were hidden (covered) by his concern about his appearance. Besides that, individuals who undergo plastic surgery find themselves emotionally more confident to face the challenges of their lives.

Fabíola,

On the two days of the Writing Course, we teachers do not give students feedback for two reasons: everyone gets to turn in late work and the number of compositions for teachers to give feedback to is overwhelming. Second, since it is the end of the course, anyway, there is no reason to provide suggestions for a rewrite since there will be no rewrite. So here are your grades based on the quality of your work. Content: 5/5

Structure: 5/5

Vocabulary: 5/5 

Grammar: 4.5/5

Mechanics: 5/5

Total: 24.5/25

Fabíola,

I am quite happy at this final draft of yours. In terms of quality, the paper shows that you have put a lot of effort into it at several levels. The content is very rich, the structure very American, the vocabulary sophisticated, and the grammar quite accurate. Obviously, there is always room for improvement in any writings we do, but taken into account that this course only lasted two months, the results are more than satisfactory

Rick