Fabíola — Portofolio #2

The role of cosmetic surgery in the world we live in today is to help a person fix or bring normalcy to something that is irregular on his or her body. Cosmetic surgery can help people with their self image, which often influences their perception of the world around them. In despite of the difference in age, social or economic status, their (their whose?) common denominator is a deep-seated and persistent dissatisfaction with the way they look at themselves and others. And people’s perception of themselves is reflected in their personality and in the treatment of those they come in contact with. For instance, a 19-year-old boy named André Braga suffered emotional trauma as a child because of the cruelty of his colleagues and the teasing he received at school where children usually make fun of each other. André was born with a protuberant nose, and, since his first day of school, the several nicknames he received never left his mind in peace and every time he heard a new nickname teasing about his nose, it was like a new wound that was opened in his heart. They’d call out, ‘Is that a nose or a hose? ” And the mockery was so frustrating to him that his mother needed to look for some physiological assistance to help him overcame and endure his daily routine until he reached the minimum acceptable age to undergo a corrective surgery. Only some days after his 18th birthday did Andre undergo surgery, and as a friend, I would say that after that, he was born again. (Again, in which sense? Be careful with the show and tell. In English, the writer cannot simply inform the reader of a new fact. He or she has the obligation of expanding on the idea further; otherwise, it is better not to mention anything at all.) He told me that there was no price for not being afraid of being teased anymore. The surgery really helped improve Andre’s psychological outlook in life. Before the surgery, he used to say that when he looked in the mirror, he didn’t see what he was actually seeing, only what they were saying about him; and now, he just sees the sparkle on his face reflected in the mirror. In this case, cosmetic surgery greatly benefited the patient’s emotional state. Being accepted by one’s peers is sometimes the most important and consuming factor of a person’s life. Therefore, the role of cosmetic surgery in the world we live in today is without any doubt to enhance people’s self-esteem and help one feel more outgoing and relaxed by fixing or bringing to normalcy something that is irregular in the body.

Fabíola,

This paper is a bit longer than the usual paragraph, but then again, there is no such a thing as limit to the number of words a person can use, or how many sentences a paragraph should have. Your text stands on its own as far as many of the categories we are looking at goes. Content = 5/5; Structure = 5/5; Vocabulary 5/5; Grammar = 4.5/5; Mechanics = 4.5/5. Total points = 24/25              

The role of cosmetic surgery in the world we live today is to help one to fix or bring to normalcy something that is irregular on the body, such as a huge nose. Cosmetic surgery can help people with the image effort which often influences one’s perception of the world around them. In despite of the difference in age, social or economic status, their common denominator is a deep-seated and persistent dissatisfaction with the way they look to themselves and others. And one’s perception of themselves is reflected in their personality and treatment of those they come in contact with. For instance, a 19-year-old boy named André Braga suffered emotional trauma as a child because of the cruelty of his colleagues and the teasing he received at school where children usually make fun of each other. André was born with a huge nose and since his first day of school the several nicknames he received have never left his mind in peace and every time he heard a new nickname teasing about his nose was like a new wound that was opened in his heart. They’d call out, ‘Is that a nose or a hose? And it was so frustrating that his mother needed to look for some physiological assistance to help him to overcame and endure the daily routine surrounded by his friends until he have reached the minimum acceptable age to undergo a corrective surgery. Only some days after his 18th birthday Andre underwent a surgery, and as a friend I would say that after that he was born again. He spoke to me that there was no price for not to be afraid of being teased anymore. The surgery really helped to improve Andre’s psychological outlook on life. Before the surgery he used to say that when he looked in the mirror, he didn’t see what he was actually seeing, only what they were saying about him and now he just see the sparkle on his face that is reflected in the mirror. In this case, cosmetic surgery greatly benefited the patient emotional state. Being accepted by one’s peers is sometimes the most important and consuming factor of a person’s life. Therefore, the role of cosmetic surgery in the world we live today is without any doubt to enhance self-esteem and help one feel more outgoing and relaxed by fixing or bringing to normalcy something that is irregular on the body.