Vanessa — Women and Marriage

Nowadays, most people that marry get a divorce because, differently from the past,  modern women are not discriminated against if they are a single or a divorced person. In the 18th century, marriage was for their whole lives. At  that time, it was very important to marry, and once the women married, she was not able to get a divorce because the whole society would ignore her. Now, women are independent, they work and have their own money, so they do not depend on their husbands as they did in the past anymore. Because of that (that what? their financial independence? the lack of social pressure?), women get divorced more often. In 2004,  Britney Spears married a friend from her childhood in Las Vegas when both of them were drunk. On the next day, they divorced. Although most people still have this image that marriage is like a fairy tale, most people do not remain married for too long (What is your definition of too long?) and it is very common for a person to marry more than three times. The act of being married has become vulgar in our society, and marriage has lost its real meaning, that it used to be for the whole life. (What is your conclusion then? Remember that your paper needs to come back to your topic sentence.)

 Vanessa,

At times, I am not so sure about the central idea of your paragraph anymore. Your topic sentence addresses the issue of social pressure on women in the beginning, but then towards the end, you talk about marriages not being able to last for a long time. I am not so sure which of the two main ideas is the idea of your text. You need to decide and focus on only one.

Rick

Nowadays, most of the people that marry get a divorce because differently from the past,  modern women are not discriminated against if they are a single or divorced person. In the 18th century, marriage was for the whole life. At  that time, it was very important to marry and if the women married a man, she was not able to get a divorce because the whole society would ignore her. Nowadays, women are indepented, they work, they have their own money, so they do not depend on their husbands.Because of that, today people get divorced more often. In 2004,  Britney Spears married a  friend from her childhood in Las Vegas when both of them were drunk. On the next day, they divorced. Although most the people still have this image that marriage is like a fairy tale. Most people do not remain  married for too long and it is very common for a person to marry more than three times.I beleive that the act of being married has been vulgarized for the society, and the marriage has lost his real meanig that it is for the hole life.